Life throws certain moments at you that seem to freeze your existence, and make you stop and marvel and the beauty and complexity of the world we live in.
Moments that just floor you and you sit and say "I have to remember this...this is so incredibly important.."
Today we went in for our 2nd ultrasound - and saw our sweet little one again. This pregnancy has started to feel more real for both of us, for me especially because of all those little flutters and movements I am starting to feel. Today we saw what is giving me those flutters and moving around.
I am not an overly emotional person - I don't cry very often and try to keep an even keel usually. This pregnancy has brought me to tears many many times, for various and often sundry reasons. But today was different - today I had tears streaming down my face looking at our beautiful perfect little baby. Sweet, innocent little thing that will be in our life so soon, it's unbelievable. We sat both awestruck at how much change and growth has happened since our last appointment. It blew me away.
Watching that heartbeat, strong and healthy, and the little hands and feet moving all over :) It was the most in love I have ever felt in my life. Sitting with the love of my life, my partner in every way, looking at our sweet baby. There is nothing like it.
SO... that being said... we did find out the gender - which brought me to tears and continues throughout the day as I think about it again. I was surprised at my visceral reaction to the news - and how real it makes the entire process - being able to call the small person what they are and not 'it' or 'pumpkin'. Although they are still my little pumpkin :) ....
We are waiting to tell everyone til we let our families know - but I had to share this incredible joy and overwhelming happiness knowing that I am a mom. This... is what life is all about.