Thursday, July 29, 2010

In the beginning there was 2...

Actually...if you want to get technical ... there was actually '3' in the beginning if you count Gumbo, our long-legged wiener dog...

But that's neither here nor there...

(Ahem) Back to our story.

JB and I started our journey together many moons ago - meeting and subsequently falling head over heels in love. Sharing adventure after adventure - overnight hiking trips, jetting to Hawaii (twice!), touring through Thailand, conquering Whistler mountain... and countless weekend warrior events. To say we are busy people is kind of an understatement.

SO... we thought MAN we love doing all this fun stuff...what would be a HUGE adventure that we could both share in and would reeeeeally take us outside of our comfort zones....


Oh yes. Kids. Let's make more of us! We're pretty cool. We'd make some little Olympic athletes for SURE!

And so we thought ok - lets do this thing.

And we waited. And waited. And tried. And tried again.

Still nothing.

Doctor visits ensued and many months later we decided to go ahead with doing a fertility treatment. Scary in and of itself (have you ever given yourself a shot...ok don't answer that...) it was quite the physically and emotionally draining process. We both were pretty drained by the whole thing.

A few rounds later - my birthday is upon us (June 27th) - and much to my chagrin our treatment falls on this day. Which is a lovely way to spend your birthday (THANKS VERY FREAKIN' MUCH Mother Nature....) Sadly, JB is away at a retreat and has to come into town to do his part (not our finest moment) and I have to do the actual procedure by myself.

For some reason this time feels different. I think...I think we may have done it.

My body ... (which as I sit here now is 200 times crazier then I ever thought possible)... just felt like something big was happening.

So. I put it out of my head. As much as possible. But as they coined it "the dreaded two week wait" - I have to say it's pretty brutal. Your mind plays tricks on you. You feel like every little twinge or bloat means it worked!! Or ...It didn't work! You drive yourself batty.

But here comes that morning....the 14th day... We sit in our bathroom waiting another 3 minutes for our answer and are hugging... saying encouraging things like "If this doesn't work its ok, everything happens for a reason... etc."

And then JB looks down at the stick and says, '...HOLY (rhymes with "pit")....'

And then I look at the stick with utter shock and disbelief.

Holy ___, Baby... we did it....!

I will never forget that precious moment of realization - and knowing it is a memory that only we have and can cherish forever. The moment our lives changed. Dramatically.

Ever the voice of reason I remind him that its not firm until I do the blood test....and this could be a false positive. All the while completely freaking out inside and trying to retain a calm exterior.

A mix of emotions go through your head if you've been trying for a while to get pregnant. A part of you thinks its never going to happen. And part of you resigns to that fact and tries to prepare your body and mind for the inevitable. So when it actually happens its a mixed bag. There's happiness, shock, overwhelm, and then denial.

I was in denial. I didn't believe it. Until we got that blood test back. Actually - even after the blood test. And even today as I sit here at almost 7 weeks. Part of me in still in denial. Its crazy.... you can't even fathom that you have a LIFE growing inside you.

Literally right now it feels like I have eaten 10 thanksgiving dinners and drank 8 bottles of wine and am the most bloated and hung over I have ever been in my life....every day. Just to give you a hint as to how it feels during the first glorious trimester. :)

Joy? Yes. Has it hit me that I (god willing) will be a Mom in 7.5 months? Not really.

Still floating around in the idea that I've just got a bad stomach bug...that I have to avoid alcohol and unpasteurized cheese for.....

But every single moment is worth it. This is amazing. I seriously can't believe we will have a little person thats part of both of us in our arms next March.

Certainly our biggest adventure to date.

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